Posts
Yikes! It's been forever and a day since I posted. Not so good for keeping up with posting every day in 2008.
Let's see...
I had an emergency appendectomy on February 22. I thought I just had the flu, but decided to go to the ER and, 2 hours after I arrived, they said yeah, you have acute appendicitis. Glad to know it was an emergency! I had to take a whole week off work to recover, but thankfully, my gut healed quickly.
I learned to knit in the past few weeks, one of my long-term goals. I joined ravelry.com.
I've sold a few more things on Ebay, but I need to sell more. Like everyone else struggling with finances, gas and food prices are insane. I try not to think about it.
Knitting is better than therapy.
The winter has been long and long and long. I keep waiting for the weather to warm up, but other than seeing a few robins, the cold temperatures drag me down.
I am reading Anais Nin and feeling sorry for myself.
Showing posts with label mood swings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mood swings. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Musing on Life
Woke up feeling totally crappy today. Had a long day at work. Listened to my cassette tape of Bruce Springsteen's Greatest Hits album on the drive home, sang out loud, and started to feel better.
It was amazing how listening to my favorite artist made me feel so much better. I probably haven't listened to the Boss since 2003 or so. I used to sometimes play a CD when I was online, but the CD drive is jammed now, for some reason. As far as that tape is concerned, I probably haven't listened to it since around 2000. Yeah, that long ago. The tape is kind of warped, so it just sat in my car all this time. In fact, I was surprised that it still played at all, because it hasn't even been in its protective case.
As I listened to the music, I remembered all the words to all the songs. I was immediately transported back to all those nights I sat in my bedroom at home as a teenager, listening to the same songs over and over, believing that I'd be saved by a white knight in a muscle car.
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true? I've asked myself this question many times over the years. Dreams are not lies if they don't come true. Dreams evolve. Dreams change. People change, finding new priorities. Perhpas the narrator of that song, "The River," was unhappy that he got his girlfriend pregnant and had to get married, so he spent his life with the obligations of family holding him back. But, yet he still had those summers down at the river, when life seemed endless and perfect. Maybe he's living in those memories instead of counting his blessings. Maybe to his way of thinking--living in the past--his old dreams ARE lies because they didn't come true.
I also always wondered what happened to Mary and the narrator of "Thunder Road." She gets in the car and they drive off to find their place in the sun. But, where is that place? What do they do when they get there? Because wherever you go, there you are. So he's got wheels and the ability to leave the old life behind, but what kind of life replaces it?
I guess, at least in the song, it doesn't matter. The car is hope.
They have hope, together. Anything is possible.
Anything...
...I sometimes forget that.
It was amazing how listening to my favorite artist made me feel so much better. I probably haven't listened to the Boss since 2003 or so. I used to sometimes play a CD when I was online, but the CD drive is jammed now, for some reason. As far as that tape is concerned, I probably haven't listened to it since around 2000. Yeah, that long ago. The tape is kind of warped, so it just sat in my car all this time. In fact, I was surprised that it still played at all, because it hasn't even been in its protective case.
As I listened to the music, I remembered all the words to all the songs. I was immediately transported back to all those nights I sat in my bedroom at home as a teenager, listening to the same songs over and over, believing that I'd be saved by a white knight in a muscle car.
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true? I've asked myself this question many times over the years. Dreams are not lies if they don't come true. Dreams evolve. Dreams change. People change, finding new priorities. Perhpas the narrator of that song, "The River," was unhappy that he got his girlfriend pregnant and had to get married, so he spent his life with the obligations of family holding him back. But, yet he still had those summers down at the river, when life seemed endless and perfect. Maybe he's living in those memories instead of counting his blessings. Maybe to his way of thinking--living in the past--his old dreams ARE lies because they didn't come true.
I also always wondered what happened to Mary and the narrator of "Thunder Road." She gets in the car and they drive off to find their place in the sun. But, where is that place? What do they do when they get there? Because wherever you go, there you are. So he's got wheels and the ability to leave the old life behind, but what kind of life replaces it?
I guess, at least in the song, it doesn't matter. The car is hope.
They have hope, together. Anything is possible.
Anything...
...I sometimes forget that.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Baby Steps to Fight the Crazies—The Beginning
Wow. November first already. Where has the time gone? The weather sure does reflect November. It feels like about 27 degrees out there tonight. I let the dogs out earlier, and the sky was clear; the moon is nearly full. They rambled around the yard, while I stood at the door and froze my butt off. :)
If only that were really possible! Hehe.
This month is the start of a new phase in my life. Last month, I had the Crazies to an insane extent. Like the subtitle of this blog, it's time to get busy living or get busy dying. I feel like I've been dying for far too long. I have a whole series of goals that I hope to accomplish this month. But I am trying not to get overwhelmed. I am taking baby steps. First up, positive progress in NaNoWriMo. I have two different ideas outlined, so wish me luck. I plan to go week by week. This week, the little steps include paying some bills (instead of ignoring them until they're late), record my daily moods so I can keep track of how they fluctuate over the month, blog daily, reduce the amount of tv I watch weekly (9 hours on Sundays is so totally draining me!), and reduce the amount of sugar I've been eating lately (hard to do since we just got a ton of candy trick-or-treating last night).
So far so good, but it's only Wednesday. :) I also want to integrate at least three times per week exercising, but I have to find my walking videotape. It's somewhere around here. I always get these motivations close to the beginning of the month, but then my resolve falls away. I can't let the monkey mind break my resolve this time, because the Crazies are driving me nuts, and my family too.
Today I'm feeling pretty good, since it's the start of NaNoWriMo and I've been looking forward to NaNo for like two months. I put it on my calendar every year, and at long last, it's time to begin. So with that, I will sign off here and get to the "real" work. After I've gotten something written, I may post an excerpt.
If only that were really possible! Hehe.
This month is the start of a new phase in my life. Last month, I had the Crazies to an insane extent. Like the subtitle of this blog, it's time to get busy living or get busy dying. I feel like I've been dying for far too long. I have a whole series of goals that I hope to accomplish this month. But I am trying not to get overwhelmed. I am taking baby steps. First up, positive progress in NaNoWriMo. I have two different ideas outlined, so wish me luck. I plan to go week by week. This week, the little steps include paying some bills (instead of ignoring them until they're late), record my daily moods so I can keep track of how they fluctuate over the month, blog daily, reduce the amount of tv I watch weekly (9 hours on Sundays is so totally draining me!), and reduce the amount of sugar I've been eating lately (hard to do since we just got a ton of candy trick-or-treating last night).
So far so good, but it's only Wednesday. :) I also want to integrate at least three times per week exercising, but I have to find my walking videotape. It's somewhere around here. I always get these motivations close to the beginning of the month, but then my resolve falls away. I can't let the monkey mind break my resolve this time, because the Crazies are driving me nuts, and my family too.
Today I'm feeling pretty good, since it's the start of NaNoWriMo and I've been looking forward to NaNo for like two months. I put it on my calendar every year, and at long last, it's time to begin. So with that, I will sign off here and get to the "real" work. After I've gotten something written, I may post an excerpt.
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